Find out the shocking health and relationship impacts those who care for aging parents encounter and what to do to safeguard your own life.

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The Alarming Reality

Elderly caregivers have a 63% mortality rate than peers without such responsibility and they're also more likely to encounter depression, anxiety and long-term medical issues (i.e., heart disease, cancer, diabetes or arthritis);

Caring for an ill or aging relative plays a significant role in 25% of divorces and/or separations;

Over 44 million Americans (21% of the adult population) provide unpaid care to an elderly or disabled person 18 years or older;

As Americans over 65 double in the next 20 years, a majority will care for a senior relative at some point during their career;

More than half of employed caregivers are forced to make changes at work as a result (i.e., going in late, leaving early, reduced hours).

Can You Relate?

And you wonder why you want to yank your hair by the roots?

If you're in the thick of it you'll easily connect to the impossible mix of competing priorities. You're already split umpteen ways daily through your employment or business, significant other, children, grandchildren, home and/or car maintenance, your health and tons more.

Now compound these exhausting imperatives if you have difficult to unmanageable parents!

I even coined the term, un-cope-able, to denote unspeakable trials endured for 54-plus years as the only child of an intractable duo. Whereas a cooperative aging mother or father willingly engages in dialogues to plan and action the next chapter of life, a belligerent elder refuses all such reasonable conversation.

Do You Have Un-cope-able Parents?

In fact, if you were to take a coffee break (or adult beverage!) from your unremitting responsibilities and be brutally honest, would you say?

"My teeth are ground to their roots for clamping what I really long to express."

"The mere thought of them makes my eyeballs roll into their sockets."

"I know exactly what's called for but they won't have any of it."

Yes! You seek to foster positive parental interactions. Yet, your load is crushing. You feel like the soggy middle in a burnt (out) triple-decker grilled cheese -- and that's no bologna!

You Need Support -- NOW!

Sandwich Generation members need solutions beyond the merely clinical or downright pat.

No stone remains unturned via the "A to Z" eldercare tactics I've succeeded and miserably failed at. I can tell you, no victory arrived easily with my pig-headed parents. Today, their unapologetic defiance translates into down-to-earth solutions with wide-ranging benefit.

Please receive these tips to ease your burden and reduce your anguish, starting today.

1. Trust Timing. What seems irreconcilable can break through wondrously. Evidence my father's obstinacy regarding his "hoarders on steroids" home. When my mother passed, suddenly Dad accepted my gardening and indoor support. Impatience slows progress.

2. Detach. Your frustration is perfectly understandable. Instead of focusing on your legitimate annoyance, let go of control. Attachment to what they "should" do creates resistance. Out-of-the-box solutions only arrive when you're open.

3. Reframe Self-Talk. Ready for phone calls or visits like an important business meeting or client interaction -- as opposed to "psyching up". Steady yourself. Operate with facts. Go in confident. As my Star Trek fan husband and I used to quote: "Shields up!"

4. Practice Appreciation. No one can pinch off competence without your permission. Don't let exasperating behaviors victimize you. What we focus on expands. Unwanted thoughts bring more unwanted. Instead, offer gratitude for their positive traits.

5. QTIP! Quit Taking It Personally. Your folks' "naughty" behaviors aren't about you. The unknown beckons. They resist the vulnerability. Allow them to drone on about glory days. Their tired stories endlessly repeated may be all they have left.

6. Feel. It's 100% OK to experience so-called "negative" feelings (anger and resentment) even if others insidiously dictate you're not allowed. You're human. You needn't demonstrate Mother Teresa dedication to prove you're a "good" daughter.

You Will Prevail

Senior care is a draining marathon. Surprising hidden gifts are embedded within back- and spirit-breaking hardship. But you must FIRST remember"

7. Self-Care is a Necessity. It's not a luxury squeezed in after chores.

Daily time for you isn't negotiable. Exactly when you're exhausted, you must recharge. Checking email or doing the dishes doesn't cut it! Bubble baths and a fun magazine do. The coaching term, "extreme self-care" doesn't imply selfishness. Nurturing yourself is analogous to donning your own oxygen mask first in an airline emergency.

Parting Encouragements

Forget sanctimonious societal messages that subtly or overtly criticize you for not interpreting 24-hour eldercare as a privilege! Have they walked a mile in your lead-heavy shoes? No!

I know, some days I doubted my own survival. Just when can't imagine taking another step, you'll find the strength.

You're not alone. You have my unbridled empathy. Believe that you'll ultimately journey from desperation to inspiration to hope.

Authors Bio:
Carol-Ann Hamilton is a coach, speaker and Reiki Master healer who captured caregivers’ daunting responsibilities in Coping with Un-cope-able Parents: LOVING ACTION for Eldercare. While writing Coping with Un-cope-able Systems: ADVOCACY for Eldercare, she realized her 25 years’ corporate expertise in change management and team-building can create urgent transformation amongst consumer service providers to aging populations. She lives in Toronto, Canada and can be reached at (905) 822-2503. Download your complimentary Eldercare Rescue Guide at www.copingwithuncopeableparents.com.