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Articles    H2'ed 4/21/16

Coping with Grueling Eldercare: 7 Survival Tips You Need to Know

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Message Carol-Ann Hamilton

No stone remains unturned via the "A to Z" eldercare tactics I've succeeded and miserably failed at. I can tell you, no victory arrived easily with my pig-headed parents. Today, their unapologetic defiance translates into down-to-earth solutions with wide-ranging benefit.

Please receive these tips to ease your burden and reduce your anguish, starting today.

1. Trust Timing. What seems irreconcilable can break through wondrously. Evidence my father's obstinacy regarding his "hoarders on steroids" home. When my mother passed, suddenly Dad accepted my gardening and indoor support. Impatience slows progress.

2. Detach. Your frustration is perfectly understandable. Instead of focusing on your legitimate annoyance, let go of control. Attachment to what they "should" do creates resistance. Out-of-the-box solutions only arrive when you're open.

3. Reframe Self-Talk. Ready for phone calls or visits like an important business meeting or client interaction -- as opposed to "psyching up". Steady yourself. Operate with facts. Go in confident. As my Star Trek fan husband and I used to quote: "Shields up!"

4. Practice Appreciation. No one can pinch off competence without your permission. Don't let exasperating behaviors victimize you. What we focus on expands. Unwanted thoughts bring more unwanted. Instead, offer gratitude for their positive traits.

5. QTIP! Quit Taking It Personally. Your folks' "naughty" behaviors aren't about you. The unknown beckons. They resist the vulnerability. Allow them to drone on about glory days. Their tired stories endlessly repeated may be all they have left.

6. Feel. It's 100% OK to experience so-called "negative" feelings (anger and resentment) even if others insidiously dictate you're not allowed. You're human. You needn't demonstrate Mother Teresa dedication to prove you're a "good" daughter.

You Will Prevail

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Carol-Ann Hamilton is a coach, speaker and Reiki Master healer who captured caregivers' daunting responsibilities in Coping with Un-cope-able Parents: LOVING ACTION for Eldercare. While writing Coping with Un-cope-able Systems: ADVOCACY for (more...)
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